“Indeed, private communication is from Satan, so that he may cause those who are secure to grieve.”
Sūrat Al-Mujādilah, Āyah 10
Keyword Focus
النَّجْوَىٰ — an-najwā: private or concealed communication, particularly when it becomes a means of wrongdoing, harm, exclusion, or disobedience.
حُزْن — ḥuzn: sadness, distress, or grief.
What I Learned
(My personal experience. Why did this āyah matter at that moment?)
It was lovely to spend some quality time with my best friends and their friends. Their friends were very nice, yet I found myself privately sharing some aspects of the conversation that I did not really want to be part of with my friend.
Part of me was simply indulging in the conversation, while another part of me was wondering whether I was crossing a line—whether what I was doing was aligned with Allah’s straight path of living with virtue and acting rightly.
Sūrat Al-Mujādilah (58), Āyahs 7–14, goes into detail about the concept of النَّجْوَىٰ — an-najwā, private or concealed communication, and its possible effects.
But Āyah 10 spoke more directly to my situation:
إِنَّمَا النَّجْوَىٰ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ لِيَحْزُنَ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا
“Indeed, private communication is from Satan, so that he may cause those who are secure to grieve.”
It made me pause and ask myself:
Did I make this person uncomfortable by excluding her?
Did I commit a fault?
Did I move away from the straight path?
I could not know for certain whether she was aware that my friend and I were having a private conversation, or whether I was simply imagining that she might have felt uncomfortable. We were discussing behaviors that had bothered us; we were not intentionally trying to make her look bad.
Still, the āyah made me look beyond my intention and consider the possible effect of my words and actions on another person.
How It Helped Me
(Life Connection. Practical Grounding)
The Qur’an does not present private communication itself as automatically wrong. In the same passage, Allah distinguishes between private communication connected with إثم — wrongdoing, عدوان — aggression, and معصية — disobedience, and communication connected with البر — goodness and التقوى — mindfulness and protection from wrongdoing.
So, for me, the question is not simply:
“Was the conversation private?”
The deeper question is:
“What was I doing with that private conversation, and could it cause unnecessary harm or ḥuzn (grief) to another person?”
When several people are together and two people begin communicating privately, the concern may not be the privacy itself. It may be what that privacy creates—exclusion, uncertainty, suspicion, or sadness.
In my situation, I do not know whether any of those things actually happened. I do not want to assume another person’s feelings or intentions.
But I can use the experience to become more aware of my own behavior.
I think one right approach to avoiding unnecessary النَّجْوَىٰ — an-najwā is to be careful about what we discuss privately about others. If a conversation is about facts and has a legitimate purpose, privacy itself is not necessarily wrong. But when a conversation begins moving toward gossip, unnecessary criticism, or words that could harm another person, I need to recognize that direction and step away.
Avoiding or redirecting unwelcome conversations is usually my first choice.
Sometimes I am successful.
Other times, I am not.
Sometimes my response comes out too strongly. I may clearly say that I do not want to be part of the conversation, but the way I say it can become harsh and hurt someone else.
That is another lesson for me:
Even when I am trying to avoid something I believe is wrong, I still need to be mindful of how I respond.
The truth does not need harshness to remain true.
Closing Reflection
(Simple and Honest)
The Qur’an has helped me see that private communication is not automatically wrong. What matters is where the conversation is leading and whether our words may cause unnecessary harm or ḥuzn to another person.
Can I change the subject?
Can I gently redirect the conversation?
Can I avoid unnecessary words about another person?
Can I step away without making someone else feel rejected or hurt?
For me, following the straight path also means learning to respond with gentleness, balance, and awareness of how my words affect others.
I am still learning. Sometimes I recognize the right direction quickly; sometimes only afterward. Either way, each moment gives me an opportunity to pause, reflect, correct myself, and continue walking the straight path.
It is still a work in progress.
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