“Go to Pharaoh, for he has exceeded all bounds. Then speak to him with gentle words, so that perhaps he may reflect or be filled with a sense of awe that leads him to refrain from wrongdoing and oppression.’”
Surah Taha – Ayahs 43-44
Keyword Focus
Layyinan (لَيِّنًا): Gentle, kind, calm, and neither harsh nor rude.
It refers to speaking with kindness and gentleness in one’s manner and words—not to weakening the truth or compromising it.
What I Learned
(My personal experience. Why did this verse matter at that moment?)
During the COVID time, I suddenly developed a harsh way of communicating. I found myself debating with almost everyone about different topics, especially health and politics. Even my husband noticed the change. Although he was naturally a firm debater, he told me not to lose my sense of diplomacy—a quality others had often appreciated in me. He admitted that diplomacy was not one of his strengths, but it was one of mine, and he encouraged me to preserve it.
After he passed away, my communication became even more rigid. As I immersed myself in studying the Qur’an, I became increasingly impatient with what I considered shallow conversations or misguided ideas. The one person whose advice carried the greatest weight in my life was gone, and I found myself wondering who would now keep me grounded.
How It Helped Me
(Life Connection. Practical Grounding)
As my Qur’an reflections deepened, I repeatedly came across Surah Taha, Ayahs 43–44. I could not understand why these verses kept drawing my attention. During one of my regular Qur’an readings, I felt compelled to reflect on them again, so I called my cousin, who has often mentored me in my Qur’anic journey.
He simply asked me to read the verses aloud. When I reached the words “قَوْلًا لَيِّنًا” (gentle words), I burst into laughter. He smiled and reminded me, “I’ve been telling you to be gentle when conveying the truth. Your responsibility is to share the message, not to change hearts.”
My best friend, another mentor in my life, had often given me the same advice: speak gently, avoid unnecessary arguments, and remember that changing people is never our responsibility.
At that moment, the lesson became unmistakably clear. Allah, the Lord of the worlds (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala), commanded Moses and Aaron to address Pharaoh—a tyrant—with gentle speech. If gentleness was the command even with Pharaoh, then who am I to speak harshly to anyone? My first responsibility is to keep correcting myself. The rest is simply to share what I have learned with sincerity and leave the outcome to Allah.
Closing Reflection
(Simple and Honest)
These verses remind me that the manner of communication matters. Even when conveying the truth, kindness and wisdom help the message reach the heart. Gentleness is not weakness—it is strength guided by wisdom.
I am still learning this lesson. It is a daily struggle to soften my own character before trying to influence others.
The journey continues.
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